I try to conduct myself according to a simple set of standards valuing faith, family, and focus. These three pillars for the foundation of my worldview and define everything that I’m about. Still, I continue to find my commitment to these standards tested by both time and circumstance. Challenging my resolve and judging my performance against certain ideals helps me to identify areas for personal improvement and growth – if I were to rest in complacency and assume I was done growing as a Christian would be spiritual hubris. I’ve completed month-long daily-task challenges before, but none with the direct spiritual relevancy of Boundless’. I’ve learned a great deal about myself over the past month, and this insight is more valuable than anyone could ever know.
The most important thing in my life is my relationship with Jesus – a fact oft forgotten. I’ve always strived to be open and vocal about my faith, but find myself falling into and accepting labels and stereotypes out of laziness in explanation. When longtime friends are taken aback by a Facebook post, it shows the somewhat poor job I’ve done of witnessing to those around me. When a brother or sister in Christ commends me for stepping out of my comfort zone by posting a YouTube video, it shows I’m not vocal enough within the church either. If the perception of an outsider is the gauge against which my faith is measured, then I have a lot to do to renew and reprove my relationship with Christ.
Relationships with those who enrich my life – my family and closest friends – are the second most important element of my life. If I’ve learned anything over the past month, it’s that I could stand to be a better friend. I’m not open enough with my closest confidants, and I tend to trivialize my less close – but no less important – relationships by not showing enough appreciation for the friendship. Even relationships with my church family feel weak and painfully superficial.
In my job, regardless of who signs my paycheck, I always work as if given an assignment by Christ himself. Yet, over time, I’ve seen my performance in some areas slip into the nebulous realm of “good enough.” It’s never a proud day when you admit your haven’t given your best to a project – particularly when you began with that as a specific goal. Still, recognizing that failing is the first step of owning and overcoming it.
Thinking of myself with sober judgment has found me struggling to find the path my Christian walk should be taking. I know this path will continue to be fraught with challenges, but I also know – through Christ – that I am better equipped to overcome them than I was before this journey began. Though Boundless’ challenge was only scheduled for thirty days, the revelations I take from it will challenge me for the rest of my life. I’m taking time today to recommit my life to a closer walk with Jesus, nurturing personal relationships within the body of Christ, and building a strong, God-honoring career. Tomorrow will be spent living out that commitment – God willing, so will every day thereafter.