Things That Matter Most

Things That Matter Most

If Today Were Your Last …

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Would you be sitting here, reading my blog? Would you even be at your computer in the first place?

Or would you be spending time with family and friends? Would you be polishing off that last item on your bucket list? Would you be taking a few minutes to write a letter to a long lost acquaintance or a word of advice to a youthful relative?

Throughout life, we’re given ample opportunity to reflect on the blessings around us. The relationships we’ve built, the personal items we’ve acquired, the experiences we’ve lived. It’s amazing the richness of life we possess when we truly take a minute to look back.

Every achievement we can reflect on with joy. Every challenge we’ve faced and by living still, overcome. Every friend or relative who has entered and touched our story.

These situations are not rare, yet the number of times we take a moment to truly reflect on what they offer us are.

Understanding the ways in which you’re blessed help pave the way for how you can, in turn, be a blessing to others. Your story can help educate members of the next generation. Your skills can be passed down. Your history can provide guidance – both instructive and cautionary – to those who follow.

But it depends entirely on you. On how much you’re willing to share. On how much you’re willing to invest in those who come after you.

Christmas is a celebration of second chances. It’s the celebration of the day the Word of God was made flesh and entered a sinful world in order to redeem it and give us all a second chance at salvation. The story is a wonderful one, and reflecting on it annually gives us the opportunity to look at where else we’re given a second chance.

You have a second chance to approach your job with an enhanced attitude of appreciation and gratitude. You have a second chance to mend a relationship with a long lost friend or an estranged relative. You have a second chance to evaluate your life’s overall trajectory and make mid-course adjustments.

Christmas is a blessing that gives us the chance to reflect on and appreciate our manifold blessings. The day after Christmas gives us a second chance to look at our lives through new eyes and better answer the question: if today were your last day, how would you spend it?

Would it be a day well spent?

Life is Precious

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My trip home from Brazil took far longer than expected.

I had been booked for roughly 31 hours of travel from Fortaleza to home, including a stop in Rio de Janiero and a 10-hour layover in Dallas. It was a long schedule to be sure, but I was up for the journey, planned to work during most of my layover, and even had plans with friends scheduled during my stop in Texas.

My real trip took over 48 hours and included an emergency overnight stop in Costa Rica.

Why the delay?

The plane was only about half full, so most of us had our own rows to lounge in during the overnight trip. The sparse seating led to a lot of moving around, so I had the opportunity to meet most of my travel companions as we spread out on the aircraft. This included the woman across the aisle from me.

She seemed a bit tired – understandable as we were all boarding a 9pm red-eye flight – and a bit worn out as she and her husband worked to make their 6-month-old daughter comfortable. We said hi, and went about readying our respective seats for the long flight.

A few hours later, she seemed to fall ill. The flight attendants called on the PA for any medical personnel on board to volunteer to help. They brought her something to drink, and she said she felt better and wanted to try to sleep it off.

Later still, and her condition escalated. The flight crew (and medical personnel) did everything they could to help. The pilot turned the plane and we rapidly descended to Costa Rica for medical help. Unfortunately, her condition worsened to full cardiac arrest before we landed and, by the time we were on the ground, there was nothing more anyone else could do.

Witnessing tragedy makes you think …

As much as I enjoy traveling, I really don’t like to be away from home and family. There’s a knot in my stomach whenever I board a plane as I think about what could possibly happen while I’m away. It’s numbed somewhat by the trill of adventure, but never really goes away.

Seeing the loss on that airplane brought everything to the forefront, though.

This entire week I’ve been taking stock of things around me. Passions, hobbies, everything I do that takes up the limited time I’ll have in this world. I’ve been meditating on the value of each and what I might be giving up in exchange.

All-night hackathons to build throwaway applications don’t seem nearly as exciting now as they did a week ago. Endless brainstorming of “perfect” software solutions feels like a void endeavor. I’m taking a little time now to prioritize the things that really matter so I can better invest my time in those things later.

Life is as precious as it is fragile. Our time here should be spent in worthy pursuits.

Travel Light

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When I watched the film Up in the Air, I was impressed that anyone could travel so frequently with such little baggage.

At the time, I hadn’t traveled very much.  When I did, it was mostly on larger group trips – family, school, or trips with friends – where everyone had at least two very large bags.  I didn’t think this was anything out of the ordinary.

Then I met a guy on a flight who traveled with only a carry-on. For every trip.

No baggage fees. No waiting for checked bags. It seemed very convenient, but I couldn’t figure out how he managed to carry everything he needed in a single bag.

Enter Backpacking

In late 2012, I invested in a quality mountaineering bag that was about the size of my old carry-on so I could carry a single bag on my trip to Haiti.

Since the trip involved staying in the mountains, I viewed it more as a camping trip while I planned everything out.  A camping trip means hiking, hiking means a backpack, a backpack means traveling light.

I managed to pack 10 days’ worth of clothing and gear into a mountaineering bag with no problems.

Ongoing Trips

Since I started working with WordPress full-time, I’ve also started presenting at open source conferences on a regular basis.  Since Portland is home to relatively few conferences (with respect to the nation as a whole), this equates to quite a bit of travel on my part.

For the first few trips, I still took my regular luggage to the airport.  I skipped checking my bags and opted for a smaller carry-on, but still had some sort of wheeled luggage to handle at the airport and on the plane.

After a while, though, I recalled my trip to Haiti and realized that my 10-days worth of gear for that trip vastly outweighed anything I took to a WordPress or JavaScript conference.  Since early 2013, I have taken a mountaineering bag on all of my trips rather than traditional luggage.

Benefits

Unlike Ryan Bingham, I’m not going to tell you to empty a figurative backpack of friends, family, and other obligations.  Instead, I want to point out how freeing it’s been to be the non-traditional traveler.

I can strap everything to my back and hike from one place to another without a hassle – as I did for several miles in Boston rather than wait and pay for an Uber.

I can easily carry everything down the aisle of the plane, meaning I’m often seated more quickly (and deplane faster) than my co-travelers.

Because my non-traditional luggage is smaller than usual, I take extra care when I pack to make sure I only bring the essentials.  Whereas I used to bring a lot of extra “stuff” on trips (I brought running gear, swim trunks, and 3 books to WordCamp Phoenix one year), I now bring only the things I know I’ll need.

Clothing, my Bible, cables to charge my electronics, a neat toiletries kit so I’m not “that guy” after 3 days on the road.

Whittling down what I bring with me on the road has helped pare down what I keep at home, too.  Just the essentials, with a few added nostalgia pieces.  It’s made me much happier not having to lug unnecessary junk from one point to another.

The next time you plan for a trip, will you be checking a bag or just living with a carry-on?  How much will you pack?  Did you make a conscious decision to include every item, or did unnecessary junk work its way in?

Make Time for Things that Matter

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Despite working on it for several years, I have yet to add that magical 25th hour to my day.

All the same, I have things on my to-do list, and several items fall by the wayside repeatedly.  When people look at my half-finished projects, read unpolished stories, or ask why I never started a million dollar company, I always cite my lack of time.

Well, that is until a good friend reminded me that was a cop-out:

The most damning part of this image is a single sentence:

When you want something bad enough, you make the time – regardless of your other obligations.

That makes me wonder, do I really want these things bad enough?

Once Upon a Time

After I earned my masters degree, I didn’t want to start a company.  My sights were set fairly high – I wanted to work internationally in a management capacity controlling the marketing (product creation through advertising through fulfillment) for a sports-related company.

My youth led to several rejections. No one wanted to pay a 20-something with an MBA a real salary when they could hire someone instead with 20 years of experience to do the same job.  I was the risky option.  So I instead set my sights on building a company.

I started Jumping Duck Media so no one would be hiring “Eric Mann Enterprises” when I sold a marketing bid.  For the first year, it was pretty rough but passable.  I made a respectable income for a 1-man shop just starting out, and worked on contracts in along the West coast (Oregon, Washington, California) and with a client in China.

My failing at that stage of my career: time management.

I invested my time in ways that failed to pay off and held my time back from things that would have been revolutionary.  Also, I spread myself too thin and tried to juggle too many goals at once.

When one ball dropped, I’d get depressed and drop 3 others.  It was unsustainable, so I stopped working for myself and tried my hand at being an employee.

Next Steps

In all of my jobs since I gave up being my own boss, I’ve had far more time than I expected.  I put in my hours – often more than I should – and can actually relax at home with a book.  Feeling free time makes me question what else I can do now that I’m not spending all hours of the night responding to RFPs.

I have time to write a daily blog.  I have time to record a weekly video podcast. 1 I have time to read and review books.

But when it comes to the things I don’t have time for, I’m beginning to recognize why I use time as an excuse.

It was pointed out this week that I spend more time talking about potential features for WordPress than I do writing patches.  True.  After a full (or more-than) workday writing PHP code, the last thing I want to do in my evening hours is keep writing PHP code.  Does this mean I won’t?  No; it just means I haven’t found a single idea I care enough about to invest my time there.

Despite having several partially finished stories sitting around my office, I’ve never polished one enough to publish.  Does this mean I won’t?  No; it just means the ideas I’ve had thus far are interesting enough to start but too boring to actually finish.  If my story bores me, why would I subject anyone else to it?

Moving forward, I’m taking much more careful stock of my time.  This means I focus on one thing at a time, and if it’s not something I care enough about to focus on, I drop it.  No more excuses; “time” has been a scapegoat long enough.

What have you not accomplished because you ran out of time?  What distractions could you give up so your time could be more focused on the things you actually care abut?

Notes:

  1. I know, I know, I missed last Friday. I will be making it up to you. I promise. ↩

Three Pillars

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I’ve always had these three imaginary Roman pillars in my mind.  When I need to escape something, be it monotonous work, a boring movie, or an uncomfortable moment with friends of friends, I retreat there in my mind.  I kind of imagine a garden, full of life and beauty, with three huge marble pillars in the center.  Occasionally, they have vines growing around them, and sometimes the vines are flowering, too.  (I realize there are only two pillars in the photo, but it was the best image I could find on short notice)
Yeah, there are only two pillars here, but it's the best I could find ...

Lately, I’ve been trying to explain my values to others.  It’s not something I thought I would ever have to really explain in detail, but several people have been asking me to put my values down on paper.  The easiest way for me to do it is to explain things in the context of my pillars.  There are three, and they each represent a different category of my value system:

  1. Nature
  2. Life
  3. Fun

These are working categories and are by no means refined.  They do, however, give me a starting point to explain what I value in the world.

Nature

I am deeply passionate about the world around me.  Whether that’s the outdoors, or the indoors, I consider myself a steward of each.  It’s everyone’s responsibilty to take care of the planet by keeping things clean, managing invasive species, and minimizing the lasting footprint they leave on the world.  Beyond that, society is also part of our surroundings and we’re responsible for its development as well.  I value the people around me that enrich my life through their diverse background and unique viewpoints.  Nurturing an environment of collaboration and interaction with ALL those around me is important.

Life

Having some sort of work-life balance is vital, and few would argue any differently.  Furthermore, having a work life that is fulfilling and rewarding is equally important.  What is the point of spending half your time doing something you despise?  Life should (and is?) about expanding one’s means and capacity with which to enjoy the world and people around them.  In addition, I hold a deep respect for universal human rights and the standard of living they imply for all people.  I work to expand the understanding of human rights, and pray for the day when they become more readily accepted by the world at large.

Fun

Why be here if we’re not having a good time?  What’s the point?  Living is about enjoying the time you’re given and pursuing whatever it is you might be passionate about.  You can never be “too intense” about the joy in your life, and anyone who tells you different is just trying to rain on your parade.  I value happiness, joy, and inspirational excitement and try to fill my life with as much of it as possible.

Well, those are the foundations of my value system – its pillars, if you will.  It’s taken me a long time to put them down in writing, but I feel more confident moving forward with my life now that I have.  Where do your values come from?  Why do you think they evolved that way?  I’d love to discuss it with you!